Every blogger will tell you that writing in a public forum is, admittedly, more than a bit self-indulgent. It's not a big secret-- a blog is a place to air personal thoughts and opinions. If I wanted to keep them to myself, I'd keep a journal and hide it in my underwear drawer.
It's just one of those assumed and understood facts about blogs, accepted by both bloggers and readers alike. Expecting anything different is a bit naive.
That being said, I personally believe that the opinions I express must be done in a careful and thoughtful manner. That means no diatribes, no specific names or details, and no unfounded or inflammatory comments. In return, I hope that the people who choose to leave comments abide by the same rules.
Which is why I was so surprised to receive a comment yesterday regarding a post I made nearly a month ago, titled "When the Conservatives Come Knocking."
I had thought it was a fairly even-keeled, objective analysis regarding the role of political affiliation in the dating world. One response I received resembled, in the words of another commenter, a "freak out." Here's a snippet:
"How extraordinarily arrogant of you! Rest assured, with an attitude like yours, you're judged just as harshly as you so apparently judge others. I pity people like you. You can't get over your self-concern long enough to appreciate some of the amazing people that populate this world...(You forgot to put a question mark, but I won't nitpick your sub par and self-indulgent writing)...To answer your question, you don't be a bitch about it!"
Whoa-ho-ho! Slow down there buddy! Holy crap, slow down.
First of all, I'm entitled to my opinion (which, I believe, is well founded). Second of all, I expressed my belief in a calm and rational manner. Without, I may add, calling anyone a bitch. And yeah, a blog is self-indulgent. Get used to it or go home.
So this begs the question: is it appropriate to give into what I will now coin "blog rage?" Forget the legal side of the argument; I know that constitutionally, people can write whatever they want. I'm talking about whether they should write whatever thought pops into their head, no matter how vulgar and "freak out" filled it may be.
After all, a "freak out" opinion is an opinion none the less. I put my thoughts into the public domain, shouldn't I be prepared to deal with whatever responses it may garner? Is it silly to assume my readers and I have an unspoken agreement to respect one another in both my posts and in their resulting comments?
I'm not sure who's right here. I'm sure it's somewhere in the middle. Thoughts?
8 comments:
People who rage out in their blogs
A)Lack self-discipline, eloquence and focus
B)Don't take consideration for future job prospects seeing their rantings
It's just a bad call in general.
Great post.
thoughts? YOU can STICK it up you BUTT you whiny piece OF doo-doo.
doo-doo? really?
It takes a big man to call someone doo-doo.
It takes an even bigger man to hide behind the cloak of anonymity.
P'nickel: change your settings to not allow anonymous comments.
And remember: sometimes, it takes more courage to ignore the haters than to sling anything back at them.
Yeah, you have to remember that the Internets never forget what you write. Look at the questions on the current application for jobs in the Obama Administration (what online handles/aliases have you had, blogs, facebook). You have to consider the long term impact.
That said.... I see you already killed the anonymous option on your blog! Good call. If you can't even take enough responsibility to put your online name next to words then you really shouldn't even be putting them out there. Anonymous = coward....
Despite whatever buzz word jargon you may use to explain away the comment that was left the fact of the matter is, what you're experiencing-- the systematic dismantlement of your opinion known as criticism-- is something that people in the real world of public forum must deal with all the time. You wrote something shallow and got called out for writing something shallow. It's like calling the sky blue. And the only person freaking out is apparently you. When you put yourself out there to be judged on the free, open, and gatekeeperless internet you can't freak out when somebody actually judges you! You have to do what every self respecting writer must do and get over it!
Dismantling the anonymous comment feature is being a coward. Assembling all of the two or three people who will defend you is being a coward. Sucking up and not giving a crap what people say is being brave. You can't write without having a hard shell and being able to take in stride the conflicting ideals you stir up in people.
You were rational in your post.
Yes, people have a right to disagree with/criticize what you write. But if you're going to be rational, they should be, too.
Or, at least, I'd hope so.
Re: "So this begs the question..."
To "beg the question" is not to raise a question, but to avoid a question (in particular, by assuming its premises).
See:
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/begs-the-question.aspx
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