The Pumpernickel is Sold at Auction

This past Wednesday, I participated in a charity date auction at Midtown Loft in Dupont hosted by Put Your Best Foot Forward, a community-based project that aims to "provide homeless, low-income, and underemployed individuals ready for change with the tools, skills and professional attire to help them succeed in a career and build a better life for themselves and their families."

I was Bachelorette #2. And yes, that statement was just as odd to write as it was to read.

I sold for $85, which isn't too shabby if I do say so myself. An interesting twist to the whole ordeal: when I arrived, a film crew was there covering the event. Why, do you ask? One of the other bachelors being auctioned off, Josh Colon, is a member of The Real World DC cast. Ha!

So, I may or may not be featured in an upcoming episode of The Real World. Apparently, they had people sign some pretty wacky waivers which included the following clause:

"IF I CHOOSE TO ENGAGE IN CONSENSUAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOR OR INTIMATE CONTACT WITH ANY SUCH PERSON I DO SO VOLUNTARILY AND KNOWINGLY AND I ASSUME THE RISK THAT BY ENGAGING IN SUCH ACTIVITY I MAY CONTRACT CERTAIN SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. PRODUCER MAKES NO WARRANTY OR REPRESENTATION THAT ANY SUCH PERSON IS STD FREE."

Interesting. I wasn't asked to sign one, which tells me that I'm either not going to be featured or my face is going to be blurred out if I am. Maybe if I had engaged in "intimate contact" with the guy, I might have had a shot at a guest appearance.

Here are a few things I learned from being up on the auction block:

1. There is nothing more terrifying than silence. I was so frightened that no one would bid on me. Talk about humiliation. Thank goodness there were some charitable people in the audience.

2. Never assume there isn't a talent portion. Chances are, if you're in a charity date auction, you're going to be asked to do something a little wacky. I was asked to sing, which I did. To a crowded room of drunken bidders. In front of MTV cameras. I was a bit outside of my comfort zone, but fortunately I can carry a tune. Otherwise, well...let's just say the bidding would have stopped at $5.

3. A striptease never hurt anyone. The Real World-er apparently undressed down to his skivvies in an erotic dance routine when the bidding started for him. Can't blame the guy -- he wound up raking in $175. Hey, it's OK to be risque when it's for charity.

The above photo is courtesy of my friend, Dana, whom I love, but who does not have a career as a professional photographer ahead of her.

Much thanks to the kind gentlemen who bid on me, Josh for being an extraordinarily talented emcee, and to Dana, Deborah and Aaron (a fellow up-for-bid bachelor) for being such supportive friends!