Cooking Lessons at L'Academie de Cuisine

If food is the currency of love, then L'Academie de Cuisine in Gaithersburg is the World Bank of loving goodness.

That's a convoluted metaphor if I ever heard one, but stay with me on this.

I visited L'Academie de Cuisine last week for a group cooking lesson called 'Moroccan Delights' on the wonders of Moorish cuisine. Don't know the difference between a sauté and a simmer? The academy has got your back.

The menu was fairly straightforward: a dish with chicken simmered in prunes, almonds and spices; a carrot puree with coriander; fatoosh salad; couscous with a sweet sauce of honey and almonds; and almond cookies.

Although the academy offers more rigorous classes, 'Moroccan Delights' was pretty easy and quite suitable for a beginner chef. The lesson was run by a head instructor who walked the participants through each dish before sending the group to a fully stocked test kitchen.

Once ushered to tables of 4 to 5 people, the various recipes were divvied up and several assistant instructors hovered about offering helpful cooking hints.

Things I learned:

#1 When boiling vegetables, use the least amount of liquid necessary. The hot water should just barely cover the vegetables because the water will absorb their flavor, and when drained, will take the taste with it. Using less water will prevent this from happening to as great a degree.

#2 To prevent garlic from burning when sautéing it with other vegetables, add a tablespoon of water.

#3 Authentic couscous is steamed rather than combined with hot water. Truthfully, I had a difficult time distinguishing the difference in taste, but there you have it.

Throughout the lesson, class participants noshed on samples of cheese, olives, almond milk (surprisingly delicious), and of course, drank several modest glasses wine.

It's definitely a fun thing to do with a group of friends, although the lesson may seem a bit too elementary for even moderately skilled home cooks.

However, for those of you perplexed by the instructions on the back of your blue Kraft Macaroni & Cheese box, this class might be just what you need.

L'Academie de Cuisine
Professional Culinary Training
16006 Industrial Drive Gaithersburg, MD 20877
Phone: (301) 670-8670 or (800) 664-CHEF
Fax: (301) 670-0450
Email: info@lacademie.com

Happy Hour at Chef Geoff's

Thirsty Washingtonians, take heed! The Pumpernickel has discovered the best gosh darn Happy Hour this side of the Potomac.

Chef Geoff's Downtown restaurant near Federal Triangle is an oasis in a city of often mundane and incongruously named Happy Hours.

Unlike other Happy Hour menus, there's a lot of variety at Chef Geoff's. Long necks go for $2.95 and Estrella wines for $5.95, but the real boozy draw is the $7.95 Super Mug, a drink not for the faint of heart. These gargantuan glasses of cold beer clock in at a whopping 33.8 oz. Come thirsty!

Burgers go for $5.95 and personal pizza pies for $8.95. When I visited last week, I enjoyed two pizzas: the first, an Artichoke pie with sundried tomato, basil and Fontina cheese, and the second, a Mushroom pie with thyme, Fontina, Tallegio and garlic oil. Delicious, and surprisingly filling. My dining companion and I both failed to finish our meals, meaning we both had enough pizza for lunch the next day. Victory!

Happy Hour prices are available from 3 until 7 pm at the bar during the week, except on Mondays and Tuesdays when the deals last all night. That's right, all night. (That's what she said? Maybe not, but it's still a steal.)

Fair warning though; the bar area can get quite crowded. But then again, can you blame people for flocking here?

UPDATE: A Happy Hour spy just informed me that special prices also apply ALL DAY on Saturdays and Sundays. As if you needed another reason to love this place.

Chef Geoff's Downtown
13th Street, Between E & F St., NW
Washington, DC 20004
202.464.4461

Zac Efron in DC?! Why didn't anyone tell me???

Zac Efron took to Capitol Hill yesterday to lobby for more funding for the arts in public schools.

Efron, along with actress Claire Danes and director Richard Linklater, met with White House officials including Kal Penn, the former Hollywood star who now serves as Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement.

According to The Hill:

Efron's films reportedly have been screened at the White House, but Danes joked that "Michelle didn't let them play sick today." Earlier this year, the Obama daughters received a surprise visit from the three members of the teen superstar band The Jonas Brothers.

In the absence of Obama family members (President Barack Obama and the first lady were in Texas attending a memorial service at Fort Hood), the group met with administration officials as part of their outreach on behalf of Americans for the Arts.

...

All three were impressed with their visit.

"I'd never been to the White House before," said Danes, joking, "Unlike L.A., they actually do real things there!"

"I admire anyone who has devoted their lives to public service," Efron said.

Efron and Danes will star in the upcoming film Me and Orson Welles, which is directed by Linklater.

Apparently, they forgot to tell me. I'm sure Zac just forgot my number. Because, as I've already established, we're clearly meant to be together. This is totally not creepy, at all.

What To Do When Hit on by a Lady (and You're a Lady Too)

It turns not just the menfolk dig the Pumpernickel.

A few weekends ago, I went with some friends to Marvin, the U Street lounge known for its low lighting and jazzy atmosphere.

I was standing at the bar when approached by a tall blond in a tight red dress (that's a sentence I never thought I'd write). We were five minutes into what I thought was a casual conversation when I realized that those eyes she was giving me were not the wobbly, bleary look one acquires after one too many gin and tonics. They were sex eyes, no bones about it.

Upon arriving at this realization, I took the necessary steps to extricate myself. I returned to my friends, who apparently had seen the cogs turning in my *ahem* friend's head before I did.

After a little reflection, I realized there are three rules to which anyone in this situation should adhere:

1. Be flattered!
Someone just found you attractive enough to risk embarrassment over speaking to you. Even if you're not interested, remember that at the end of the day, this incident should really be an ego boost. Bonus points if your lady is smokin' hot. (Mine was, and she was a doctor! Cha-ching! If I was a homosexual, I would have hit the lesbian jackpot.)

2. Be friendly, but keep conversation short and sweet.
Don't lead the poor girl on. If you're not interested (who knows, you might find yourself surprised), it's best to wrap up the conversation and head to another part of the bar. Under no circumstance should you try to milk her for a free drink. Unless she's being overly aggressive, then by all means, make her buy you daiquiri. She had it coming.

3. Don't second guess it.
Sorry, boys. Just because a woman finds me attractive does not mean that I should begin questioning my sexuality, nor should anyone else in my situation. Ladies are much like fine works of art, admired by a wide range of people. Gay-dar is, despite what Dwight from 'The Office' might think, a myth.



If you couldn't already tell, the rules for disengaging a homosexual come on are pretty much identical to those for disengaging a heterosexual one. The players might be different, but the game remains the same.

Be nice, be courteous, and above all, be flattered.

Anywho, I must be off -- I'm exhausted from fending off suitors of both sexes. Such is the burden of the Pumpernickel!

Looking for a job? This is brilliant

And in other news, the national unemployment rate has hit 10.2%. Ick.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston famewhoring standing together. I don't think anything else needs to be said.

Crazy Protesters Outside the UJC General Assembly

I'm at the Washington Marriott Wardman Park for the UJC General Assembly today, and it's surely the place to be for Jewish Washingtonians. Jews as far as the eye can see!

But what would a large scale Jewish event be without some haters protesting outside? I noticed some crazies when my cab pulled up to the hotel, and Prince of Petworth managed to snap a few noteworthy photos.

I especially love the look on the security guard's face in the first photo.

Particularly disturbing is that this woman seems to have recruited her two children to her cause. Poor kids. They're clearly the future victims of nature versus nurture; you know they're destined to grow up crazy. Let us all take a moment of silence for their lost chance at normalcy.

The only thing missing in these photos was a particularly disturbing/hilarious sign which read 'Rabbis Rape Babies.' Seriously, where does someone even come up with an insult like that?

One commenter on the Prince of Petworth post shed some light on the situation:

1. Navy Yard Says:
   November 8th, 2009 at 11:36 pm

   That’s Fred Phelps traveling group of morons. they run godhatesfags.com and are based out of one church in Topeka, KS. Don’t pay them any attention, it consists of 3 inbred families that keep breeding. Pay them no mind.

Well, that makes slightly more sense.

Religious fanaticism + inbreeding = crazy. I think I buy that.